Parenting

I'm reading a very thought-provoking book called The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, M.D. In it she highlights a story shared by a patient from a small town who was surrounded by many peers that either underachieved or became pregnant after high school; almost no one aspired to attend college. The patient wanted more for herself - she wanted to stay in school and graduate. Unfortunately, her parents were not very supportive of her. They felt she was delusional in wanting to pursue a college education, even suggesting that she too would eventually get "knocked up" just like many other women in their town. By her sophomore year of high school, she was ready to leave home. The lack of confidence and utter disdain in their daughter motivated the patient to at the age of 18, move in with her boyfriend and get a night job working at a local bar, as a go-go dancer. She earned enough money in tips to put herself through her first semester of college, and due to her efforts, was rewarded with a full scholarship. Years later she became a mother of three children and professor of biochemistry.

There are a number of different aspects from this story that stood out to me. However, i'd like to focus on parenting. The patient's parents accepted the conditions of the environment around them, had no belief that their child could make a difference and worst of all, ran her out of the house, forcing the teen into a risky situation that as the author states, "could have turned out otherwise." Parents: please be more supportive and allow your adolescent, young adults to live their lives according to how they see the world. You've likely spent their formative years giving them everything they need to make wise choices and be respectable human beings. Once they reach their teen years, it's time to allow them to grow into their own. I am all for stepping in when you need to and instilling discipline, but they should not feel so confined or restricted by your parenting methods, that they're running away from home and being forced into impossible situations they have a 50/50 chance of surviving.

Parenting is hard, and by no means do I consider myself qualified to tell adults how to raise their children. As they grow older however, I call on you to realize they will eventually become their own person. You will not always have the influence on them you once had pre-puberty. By the time they hit 16-18 instead of running them out of the house, how about becoming a functional support system and prepare them to take responsibility, and encourage them to practice organization and structure? It's an utmost critical point in their lives where they need true parenting.

You can learn more about Louanne Brizendine's work or purchase The Female Brain here.

Thank you for reading!

Written and Edited by Cedric Denson as a product of CollegeWorld, LLC